Fast Food Janitor

Lucy and the Jr.'s

2010-04-11T08:41:00.002-05:00

True, So True

2010-04-11T08:39:00.001-05:00

Just Beautiful, Plain Beautiful

2010-04-11T08:37:00.002-05:00

Don't Leave The House Without Them!

2010-04-11T08:36:00.000-05:00

The Girls Want Their Summer!

2010-04-11T08:34:00.001-05:00

I Want this Suit

2010-04-11T08:33:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's

2010-02-14T10:22:00.000-06:00

Sunday Sins

2010-01-17T13:00:00.002-06:00

Support With Style

2010-01-16T18:15:00.002-06:00

Cartoon Nudes

2010-01-12T21:16:00.001-06:00

I Find It Everyday

2010-01-07T19:17:00.001-06:00

Dogs In The Snow

2009-12-22T16:29:00.003-06:00

Sammy and Hagar played like crazy this morning in the snow.

Hoarder's Hordes

2009-12-20T09:15:00.003-06:00

The Important Things In Life

2009-12-09T12:02:00.002-06:00

"It's awful weather for a funeral."

Pink Slipped

2009-11-02T12:50:00.000-06:00

No wonder I always get a bit creeped out in big box stores

I Guess It's a Jesus Kind of Day

2009-11-02T08:36:00.002-06:00

Gone Jesus and the Wiener Poopie

2009-11-02T07:53:00.002-06:00

Song about the Internet

2009-10-24T16:24:00.001-05:00

Close Call

2009-10-19T17:39:00.000-05:00

Brad Neely

2009-10-03T17:07:00.002-05:00

I am so intrigued by this guy's illustrations and perspective. It is sorta evil and humorous and cute all in one.

Holy Hibiscus!

2009-09-14T13:00:00.003-05:00

GARLIC HARVEST!

2009-08-31T20:35:00.004-05:00

So I finally got around to dealing with the garlic I harvested a few weeks ago. It has been drying in the shed. I cleaned it and braided the soft neck Inchelium garlic.

About half of it did a strange thing and developed cloves a few inches up the neck. I don't think that should happen cuz it made the neck hard up to those cloves making it not really good to braid but I hung it together anyway. You can see the weird braid on the left.

This is the hard neck Belarus garlic that I an not sure how to store so I left the stiff necks on them and arranged them upside down in a vase.

I WANT ONE!

2009-08-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

Grandpa and The Agave 1964

2009-08-25T22:00:00.004-05:00

I love this picture of my grandfather posing with an Agave.... I think. He looks like a spaceman who has just landed and is proudly standing with some strange earth flora.

I Wish TV Was Like This Now

2009-08-24T17:20:00.000-05:00

Wow! More Sheila please. The History of Love? Or is it the Love of History?

2009-08-23T09:26:00.004-05:00

OK, everything about this video gives me a total boner! From the swirling psychedelic entrails behind her to the right sided peek-a-boo shrubbery to sheila's knee high boots over fitted pants to her white piped wide lapels. Sheila got it going on and the song isn't bad either! Leave it to the french for visual feasts.

Sheila Sunday

2009-08-23T09:12:00.003-05:00

How come I have never heard of this french Sheila before? She is all over Youtube. Che PoP!-U-Lair!

The Prime Of Mrs. Robert Brydon

2009-08-22T20:40:00.003-05:00

(This is a Clematis to the laypersons)

Stay Gold

2009-08-10T05:44:00.000-05:00

Still Searching For Summer Clothes

2009-08-01T18:31:00.000-05:00

Is That A Clivia In Your Garden Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

2009-07-26T21:24:00.002-05:00

On The Road

2009-07-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

Garden Live

2009-07-24T12:42:00.000-05:00

Swirling Black Lilies Totally Ripe

2009-07-20T18:56:00.004-05:00

Illustrations of Survival

2009-07-18T08:58:00.000-05:00

Friday Fun

2009-07-10T10:15:00.001-05:00

You gotta try this

HardTime :: Illusion from ze frank on Vimeo.

Dreamy Delphiniums

2009-07-06T07:15:00.001-05:00

Wrestling Turkeys/Turkish Wrestling

2009-07-01T20:14:00.002-05:00

You Just can't beat Macs

2009-06-29T16:27:00.001-05:00

From The Lion's Mouth

2009-06-29T13:17:00.000-05:00

I was driving thru the little village of Woodville yesterday after some grandparent cemetary flower pot maintenance and as I drove I spotted something that has been a fixture since I was in Jr. High. The Lion drinking fountain. It used to be located on the main drag but now is located down behind a pine tree in a sort of little park area. I just thought since it wasn't on main street anymore it had gone away. I thought it was cool as a kid. It was placed there by the local Lion's Club. It reminded me of a humorous story I wrote in Fast Food Janitor -The Zine.

Circa 1995 - Carol, one of the front line gals received a phone call from the Jr. High at about 11 PM in the morning, just before the lunch rush was about to start at Hardees. She hung up the phone and was weeping. I asked her what was wrong? She said she had to leave work and go down to the school because her son was in trouble. They were having a Fun Run where the kids were raising money for something and were paid per mile by running a course around the town and it seems that her son had stopped at the Lion drinking fountain and instead of getting a drink of water he decided to PISS in the lion's mouth. Carol was devastated. It floored me and I laughed out loud and tried to console Carol but me guffawing didn't help. It wasn't her kids first day at the rodeo. He was full of trouble and still is from what I read in the police report in the local paper. So the infamously violated lion still is around town but you may want to rethink your thirst level the next time you want a drink.

Bad Album Poetry

2009-06-29T10:55:00.000-05:00

Lately I have come across albums with similar bad poetical titles. You would think I wrote them.

O'Deaths: Broken Hymns, Limbs and Skin
Jonas Bros. : Lines, Vines and Trying Times
Elvis Costello: Secret, Profane & Sugarcane

Dirty Candy

2009-06-28T19:38:00.003-05:00

Bye Michael: The Upstaging of Farrah

2009-06-25T19:20:00.000-05:00

I can barely stand it. Ryan Seacrest on E! Looking like the stylized hard hitting journalist. Like he has been on air for 24 hours straight, no sport coat and hand on hip, sleeves rolled and asking everyone the most irrelevant question.... "Where were you when you heard the news?" Just so you know, Randy Jackson was eating lunch. That Seacrest is such a dope. Poor Farrah is media dust. You were a real good dancer though, Michael.

Bye Farrah

2009-06-25T19:03:00.002-05:00

No more wiener roll.

Bye Ed

2009-06-25T17:39:00.003-05:00

Guess he won't show up at my door with balloons and a big check. shit.

AMA-FRICKIN-RYLLIS ALREADY!

2009-06-21T17:35:00.002-05:00

Brought out the bulbs from the basement, some were budding and low and behold they were a couple of fancy pantses!

Herbage

2009-06-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

Garlic - Deflowered

Dill -Striped

COOL!

2009-06-19T19:11:00.000-05:00

Not much for sports but this is tricky cool!

From the Flower Bed To the Bedroom

2009-06-16T18:36:00.002-05:00

Grooming The Elderly

2009-06-14T12:44:00.003-05:00

My info from my latest Youtube.

My mom suggested I go in and help my 88 year old dad with his shaving and remove hair in the ears and the areas he generally misses. I knew there might be yelling so I set up a camera. He is a character. That is all I can say about him. I think he should have been an actor. He has a problem shaving his lower neck, which, when I informed him he was wearing a fur collar, he said, "I never shave that low, that is my chest!" It's his Adam's apple region we are talking about not his chest. Granted I was shaving with an electric razor which can bite when the hair is a half inch long but I was passing the razor as gently as I could over his neck. The following horror ensued. From the sound of it, I could possibly be arrested for parental abuse. Thankfully he was laughing too. He does make me laugh when the simplest tasks can be made out to be the largest of chores in his mind.
After this shaving ordeal took place he was sitting in his barcalounger cleaning thru some little baskets of pens, pencils, toenail clippers, calendars and a myriad of calculators and asked if I could use a little magnetic calendar. He handed it to me and a number of little pieces of paper and whatnot were clipped to it. One being a bookmark that reads "Heartfelt Thanks" with this quote on the bottom, "One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people." Dick Gregory.
I wonder if Mr. Gregory ever helped his father shave?

It May Be Summer Soon

2009-06-10T21:50:00.001-05:00

My favorite smell in the world... Peonies!!! Here are a few other things blooming around the house tonight.

Patched Crack

2009-06-05T06:21:00.004-05:00

I entered the parking lot of the local hardware store in town and noticed this artistic patching job of the asphalt right as you enter. Baldwin isn't known for much but a fake windmill but now we have this! A large vagina, emblazoned on the ground completely sketched out of tar! Nowhere else in the world but here! Come one, come all and see our latest attraction! It is very large, big enough to swallow a sub compact, it can't be missed!

Animal Adventures

2009-06-02T06:17:00.002-05:00

Cage Match

2009-05-31T08:25:00.000-05:00

I left Greta and Bill's party at 10 PM which was probably an hour too late as I was so incredibly tired from working the sale at the greenhouse. Thankfully though, I left far more tired than intoxicated. I was too tired to drink, I guess. As I was driving home I was contemplating night lights and the pollution, noticing the row upon row of pot lights on the new houses beaming down from the eaves in the distance in the subdivision to the south of my home and thought it insane that these people find it necessary to make sure the world could see their glowing Potentilla borders around their newly constructed houses at night. I drove over the hill to our farm saw that there was yet another light on by the corn bins and I cursed my uncle for not realizing how ridiculous they are and not shutting them off. One yard light beams in my bedroom and I have to actually draw the shade every night to block out the cursed illumination.
I pulled into my yard. Parking my car in the usual spot, I jumped out and headed to the back door of the house. I had completely forgotten that earlier in the day I had explicitly instructed Joe Anderson to place tomato cages he had so generously made for me, formed from concrete reinforcement fencing, "On the east side of the house, by the wood pile". I pancaked myself so hard, suddenly finding myself on the ground, I didn't know what hit me and I was sort of in this disorienting tangle of sharp metal. Sharp,rusty metal that I felt collapse under the crush of my behemoth weight. I untangled myself from the mess of wire and stood up, shook it off and laughed at the karmic balance of cursing the light of night because I could have used some just then.
I got in the house and while readying the coffee maker for the morning I noticed sort of a stinging sensation from my right leg. I went into the bathroom and realized blood was flowing from about five puncture and scratch wounds around my knee area and then noticed a deeper gash around my ankle at which my sock was already tending to that wound soaking up copious amounts of blood. I got busy with the antibacterial soap and washed and washed the scrapes, frantically trying to remember the exact date of my last Tetanus shot. I remembered as a child, a cousin and I had a strange obsessive fear of blood poisoning and had many conversations about the red stripe of infection that creeps up your leg and if it gets to your heart, BANGO! you're dead!
I overly scrubbed the wounds, patted them dry, then applied hydrogen peroxide, smeared on triple antibiotic ointment and covered all the wounds with 6 extra large bandages, mainly to keep the blood off my sheets of my bed that I so yearned to crawl into, the bleeding wasn't stopping any too soon.

I got up this morning and went outside to survey the damage I had inflicted on the tomato cages and saw that I had flattened one nicely. I moved them up and closer to the wood pile, out of my way and as I did, one fell over and scratched me on the right ankle yet again! I am sort of feeling sorry for the tomatoes I will be placing in them later today.

I Want One Now!

2009-05-25T14:17:00.001-05:00

Sea Fire Hosta

2009-05-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

You gotta love the bright springtime color of the Sea Fire Hosta. So different so cheery. I like it so much I have two ... actually I have 3.... but who's counting.

Of the Vine

2009-05-13T07:06:00.005-05:00

Rhodochiton. This little vine can add spice to the garden. Jeepers.

It's not the size of the calyxes but the power of the flower........

In Your Face!

SPRING COLOR!

2009-05-03T09:05:00.006-05:00

Thinking of Summer Clothing

2009-04-29T17:51:00.001-05:00

47 Today

2009-04-21T18:08:00.000-05:00

The Decorator

2009-04-19T08:19:00.003-05:00

Came across this interesting TV pilot starring Bette Davis and Mary Wick produced by Aaron Spelling. Bette Davis is great to watch no matter how bad the script is, too bad there aren't 20 more episodes.

Oh, this makes me laugh....

2009-04-19T07:55:00.002-05:00

I suppose I better warn you that this is NOT audibly safe for work so put on yer headphones and doh-see doh with a rocket in your pocket.

Animals!

2009-04-04T13:24:00.000-05:00

Living Things

2009-03-17T17:46:00.001-05:00

Echeveria Roundleaf blooming at work.

Inside Pandora's Security Envelope

2009-03-11T19:05:00.000-05:00

The inside of this security envelope has me in a tizzy. I have been studying it for days and have seen many things. What do you see?

an envelope
panda bear
a rising Phoenix
a person seated at a piano
Aztec hieroglyphics
Mickey Mouse
camel
Sphinx moth
the 3rd horseman of the Apocalypse
octopus

The Ties That Opined

2009-03-06T19:15:00.002-06:00

I decided it was such a nice day that I better get out and do something so a big day for me is a trip to Walmart. I didn't really need anything besides toilet paper and a new toothbrush but ended up spending $96.00 on various sundries. I ran into my old buddy from the Janitor days, Nancy, who now has worked at Walmart for 4 years. We chatted as she worked and then she filled me on her duties there as of late. She is in charge of aisle 11 (Paper) and 12 (Chem) in the grocery section of the store. Where from 7 AM to 4PM she walks the two aisles and checks inventory with the electronic device that tells her what is short where then goes and gets the stock that is needed. Aisle 11, the "Paper" aisle consists of paper towels, toilet paper, napkins. those types of things. Aisle 12 the "Chem" aisle consists of all the dishwashing soaps and laundry soap. I asked her if she is ever overcome by the smell of this aisle because my eyes burn hotter than a 3 peckered billy goat when I come within 50 feet of that aisle. It is really strong. She said that she likes to alternate between the aisles because, yes, the smell does get to her. She told me how fascinating she finds the toilet paper section sometimes. She is flabbergasted that on many occasions that children argue with their moms about what brand to buy. Yelling things like, "Don't buy that one, it scratches my butt!." We both agreed that we never gave a thought to what toilet paper our mothers bought when we were kids. Or having a woman inform her that she has to buy the extra soft for her and the husband must have the extra strong. Both of which are over $16.00 for a 12 pack. Can you imagine spending $32.00 just on toilet paper? Nancy also filled me in that just those 2 aisles make up over a million dollars a year in sales at just that store. Amazing. I guess we all gotta shit, huh? So why doesn't Obama put a mandatory tax hike on toilet paper like whats on cigarettes. More people shit than smoke. This country would turn around in no time.
I then wandered over to the Men's Clothing Department. I saw a product that has been there for a year or so now. I find them fascinating. Luckily, I remembered that I had my camera in my pocket and captured the following images of religious neckties available there. I find the cartoony stations of the cross tie really kinda cool and it almost had me buying it, but since I rarely wear a tie and they were kinda pricey, over ten bucks, I decided to hold back, but check out Jesus truckin' with the cross. I love that image. What a mix of ties! Books of the New Testament, Packers and Navy, John 3:16, Noah's Ark, Cartoon Jesus and to top it off "Fabulous Las Vegas". Collect them all!

YES!

2009-03-06T09:23:00.001-06:00

SO beautiful.

Digital Donny In the Bedroom of Buddy

2009-03-04T22:20:00.000-06:00

Sorry Sorry Sorry

2009-03-02T19:38:00.003-06:00

I must apologise to my loyal readership and just tell you that I have fallen into the abyss of Facebook. I am gradually crawling out of this deep dark sinister hole and will return with something for you to enjoy. Until then if you haven't signed up on Facebook, DON'T! I mean it.

Doing the Monkey

2009-02-13T21:57:00.001-06:00

My first Youtube starring me.

Latest Creative Endeavour

2009-02-13T10:23:00.002-06:00

Messing around and recycling clips from Airport 1975 I came up with this. Thank you iMovie.

Life is Tough Sometimes

2009-02-12T18:05:00.001-06:00

Типа релаксация

Breakfast Dining Music

2009-02-06T09:40:00.000-06:00

My parents were enjoying breakfast this morning to the blaring strains of this song. All Of You thanks to the WEVR radio station. It has quite a collection of music horribleness. I don't think a new CD or record has entered the door at the station since 1988. My parents are really only tuned in to hear the obituary announcements, not really for the music, which they can ignore. The volume is on high remember. I cannot ignore the music as easily.

As for the video. If I was at this party I would sock everyone in the face and tell them to sit down and have a drink, they are flying and flitting around all over the place. Man, drive me crazy! And could someone tell the man who emerges from the pool in his speedo to please put on a beach wrap before performing peroets. Good God.

Orders From Headquarters

2009-01-26T15:30:00.000-06:00

More Monkey Dialectics

2009-01-26T15:28:00.002-06:00

Just Mad About The Monkey

2009-01-25T16:42:00.001-06:00

My latest creation on youtube.

Fast Food Leftovers

2009-01-23T10:00:00.001-06:00

Here is something from the vaults of the Janitor days. I found a fortune teller I made out of a food wrapper. So for this Friday pick the fortune you want. All the doors are open, it's all laid on the table before you. Chose your own destiny.

CAN DO

2009-01-19T16:22:00.001-06:00

This woman reminds me of all the women I work with.... at work.

Call of the Mild

2009-01-19T15:20:00.000-06:00

"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." - Jean Cocteau

Buddy "the Buddha" Duke

Miss Tillie Marie

Mad Monkey Love

2009-01-19T09:40:00.000-06:00

Lately I have been watching the Planet of The Apes TV show, 1974, now available on DVD. I was completely in love with this show then and still am now. I have vivid memories of this show because at the time it first aired I was 12 and watched the show at a girl's house who I was "babysitting". She was only a couple years younger than me and what was really going on is that our fathers were meeting because they were on some committee together and would go out for dinner on Friday nights to discuss whatever, taking our moms, so basically I was just going over to her house while our parents went out. Maybe I am over explaining but anyway it just happened to be at the time when this show was on for only 12 weeks. It turned into a ritual and Brenda and I both loved the show. We always did the same thing. Before the show started we would prepare our own invention of potato chip dip containing the following:

POTA Chip Dip

1/4 cup Mayonnaise

2 T. Ketchup

and a dash of garlic salt

It might sound gross but it was quite good. I have mixed it up since then playing with the ingredients, 1 clove of fresh grated garlic is a nice change. Brenda and I would then belly up to a large bowl of potato chips and the dip and slip away into the land of monkeys.

The show is still very watchable. Unlike the movies, humans can talk making for a greater exchange between apes and humans and the apes are trying to live peacefully for the most part with the humans. It is campy and the monkeys are so swishy with their British accents, for some reason all the Chimpanzees have British accents. The Gorilla do not. Brains versus brawn I guess.

I really liked the architecture too. I wanted to have a stone monkey house that was sort of in the vein of the Flintstones. Big groovy plants growing without the aid of sunlight. They had these cool floating rock doors that looked as though they were light as a feather when they opened and closed. How did they do that? So so cool.

High Monkey/human drama.

Lots of skin.

Living, laughing and loving on the Planet of the Apes.

If I wore sweaters, this is one I would wear. It was quite stylin'. A robin's egg blue with tan in sort of a Japanese Ikat pattern. I like it's simple ape styling, It might do better with a raglan sleeve which helps counteract sloping shoulders that I suffer from too, but all in all, a very nice patterned sweater.

In the act of crossing his fingers while lying, Galen (Roddy McDowell) flicked the bird. A Chimpy FU so to speak. Ha.

It's All In A Days Work

2009-01-13T13:52:00.001-06:00

There Used To Be A Time When This Meant Something

2009-01-13T13:50:00.000-06:00

There Is A Face In There Somewhere

2009-01-13T13:17:00.000-06:00

Long In The Cock-a-doodle-doo

2009-01-13T11:59:00.002-06:00

Sunday School

2009-01-11T11:12:00.000-06:00

Life In A Trunk

2009-01-09T07:24:00.001-06:00

Feelings Nothing More Than Feelings

2009-01-08T12:35:00.000-06:00

The Elvis Files

2009-01-07T07:30:00.000-06:00

Holy Cow! That is me in a parade circa 1991. I'm not sure if I resemble Elvis or some old lady who writes romance novels.

Found drawing of Elvis

I Drew Rona Barrett On the Computer

2009-01-06T16:28:00.004-06:00

Oh Lordy

2009-01-05T15:18:00.002-06:00

The finky-est country music lyrics heard just now... "When tough little boys grow up to be dads, they turn into big babies again."

My Christmas Vacation

2009-01-05T14:26:00.001-06:00

Groovy on the Welk

2009-01-05T09:45:00.000-06:00

Complimentless

2009-01-05T09:41:00.002-06:00

I finished giving my father a haircut and wanted my mother to OK it.

"It looks like he just got a fresh hair cut." she said.

"Well, he did", I thought to myself.

2009-01-04T17:23:00.000-06:00

THAT tree is down and outta here!

AT IT AGAIN

2009-01-04T09:52:00.000-06:00

THIS AND THAT

2009-01-04T08:06:00.003-06:00

BUCKLE

2009-01-02T07:44:00.003-06:00

Buckle is the operative word around this house as of late. Used in a sentence, "This right leg of mine just wants to buckle."

200 Entries!

2008-12-31T15:51:00.003-06:00

Hey I did it! Make sure to click on the "Found In File Folder" to see all I added today! 23 entries!

Off to cook the kangaroo.

Happy New Year!

HiGH SCHOOL ARTWORK- Calle Gato (street cat)

2008-12-31T15:49:00.001-06:00

I liked cats then I like cats now.

DOG'S NAME LIST

2008-12-31T15:40:00.003-06:00

I distinctly remember this day in high school. I was quite inspired and spent the entire day asking everyone the name of their dog. That is how I exhausted my days.