Still Searching For Summer Clothes

Grooming The Elderly

My info from my latest Youtube.

My mom suggested I go in and help my 88 year old dad with his shaving and remove hair in the ears and the areas he generally misses. I knew there might be yelling so I set up a camera. He is a character. That is all I can say about him. I think he should have been an actor. He has a problem shaving his lower neck, which, when I informed him he was wearing a fur collar, he said, "I never shave that low, that is my chest!" It's his Adam's apple region we are talking about not his chest. Granted I was shaving with an electric razor which can bite when the hair is a half inch long but I was passing the razor as gently as I could over his neck. The following horror ensued. From the sound of it, I could possibly be arrested for parental abuse. Thankfully he was laughing too. He does make me laugh when the simplest tasks can be made out to be the largest of chores in his mind.
After this shaving ordeal took place he was sitting in his barcalounger cleaning thru some little baskets of pens, pencils, toenail clippers, calendars and a myriad of calculators and asked if I could use a little magnetic calendar. He handed it to me and a number of little pieces of paper and whatnot were clipped to it. One being a bookmark that reads "Heartfelt Thanks" with this quote on the bottom, "One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people." Dick Gregory.
I wonder if Mr. Gregory ever helped his father shave?

Animal Adventures

Cage Match

I left Greta and Bill's party at 10 PM which was probably an hour too late as I was so incredibly tired from working the sale at the greenhouse. Thankfully though, I left far more tired than intoxicated. I was too tired to drink, I guess. As I was driving home I was contemplating night lights and the pollution, noticing the row upon row of pot lights on the new houses beaming down from the eaves in the distance in the subdivision to the south of my home and thought it insane that these people find it necessary to make sure the world could see their glowing Potentilla borders around their newly constructed houses at night. I drove over the hill to our farm saw that there was yet another light on by the corn bins and I cursed my uncle for not realizing how ridiculous they are and not shutting them off. One yard light beams in my bedroom and I have to actually draw the shade every night to block out the cursed illumination.
 I pulled into my yard. Parking my car in the usual spot, I jumped out and headed to the back door of the house. I had completely forgotten that earlier in the day I had explicitly instructed Joe Anderson to place tomato cages he had so generously made for me, formed from concrete reinforcement fencing, "On the east side of the house, by the wood pile". I pancaked myself so hard, suddenly finding myself on the ground,  I didn't know what hit me and I was sort of in this disorienting tangle of sharp metal. Sharp,rusty metal that I felt collapse under the crush of my behemoth weight. I untangled myself from the mess of wire and stood up, shook it off and laughed at the karmic balance of cursing the light of night because I could have used some just then.
I got in the house and while readying the coffee maker for the morning I noticed sort of a stinging sensation from my right leg. I went into the bathroom and realized blood was flowing from about five puncture and scratch wounds around my knee area and then noticed a deeper gash around my ankle at which my sock was already tending to that wound soaking up copious amounts of blood. I got busy with the antibacterial soap and washed and washed the scrapes, frantically trying to remember the exact date of my last Tetanus shot. I remembered as a child, a cousin and I had a strange obsessive fear of blood poisoning and had many conversations about the red stripe of infection that creeps up your leg and if it gets to your heart, BANGO! you're dead!
I overly scrubbed the wounds, patted them dry, then applied hydrogen peroxide, smeared on triple antibiotic ointment and covered all the wounds with 6 extra large bandages, mainly to keep the blood off my sheets of my bed that I so yearned to crawl into, the bleeding wasn't stopping any too soon.

I got up this morning and went outside to survey the damage I had inflicted on the tomato cages and saw that I had flattened one nicely. I moved them up and closer to the wood pile, out of my way and as I did, one fell over and scratched me on the right ankle yet again! I am sort of feeling sorry for the tomatoes I will be placing in them later today.

Thinking of Summer Clothing

47 Today

Sorry Sorry Sorry

I must apologise to my loyal readership and just tell you that I have fallen into the abyss of Facebook. I am gradually crawling out of this deep dark sinister hole and will return with something for you to enjoy. Until then if you haven't signed up on Facebook, DON'T! I mean it.

Breakfast Dining Music

My parents were enjoying breakfast this morning to the blaring strains of this song. All Of You thanks to the WEVR radio station. It has quite a collection of music horribleness. I don't think a new CD or record has entered the door at the station since 1988. My parents are really only tuned in to hear the obituary announcements, not really for the music, which they can ignore. The volume is on high remember. I cannot ignore the music as easily.

As for the video. If I was at this party I would sock everyone in the face and tell them to sit down and have a drink, they are flying and flitting around all over the place. Man, drive me crazy! And could someone tell the man who emerges from the pool in his speedo to please put on a beach wrap before performing peroets. Good God.

Call of the Mild

"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." - Jean Cocteau



Buddy "the Buddha" Duke


Miss Tillie Marie

There Is A Face In There Somewhere

Oh Lordy

The finky-est country music lyrics heard just now... "When tough little boys grow up to be dads, they turn into big babies again."

Complimentless

I finished giving my father a haircut and wanted my mother to OK it. 

"It looks like he just got a fresh hair cut." she said.

"Well, he did", I thought to myself.

THAT tree is down and outta here!

BUCKLE

Buckle is the operative word around this house as of late. Used in a sentence, "This right leg of mine just wants to buckle."

Meats All Bought For My New Years Eve Feast!

Tillie Beside Herself

My Pookie Girl Tillie

My Latest Tube Post

My niece's daughter is learning to play the accordion. She performed for us on Christmas Eve.

Low Self-Esteem Christmas Update

So I was was showing my brother the post I did about his Christmas card he made for Ma and Pa (see below) and he set me straight. The use of the word "hopless" was not a misspelling but just that,  meaning he did not hop anymore due to the removal of his leg brace he had been wearing for 2 1/2 years because of his affliction of Legg-Calve-Perthes disease. I thought that was pretty funny when he told me he didn't misspell anything. 

(Note to self: Check with sources before going to print. The truth is always stranger than assumption.) 

Listening to the Octogenarians

"Senior collision." -wrong

"Senior collation." -wrong

"Senior coalition." -right